Thursday, June 21, 2007

my heart 2

all my life i have been told i should be a music/worship pastor. i have, until recently, bought into that idea, seeking the approval of man. then, around the week of April 9, 2007, GOD really began to move me into another direction; a direction i had never thought could be for me. i had heard Fred Markert, the International Director of YWAM Strategic Frontiers, speak on foreign missions, and GOD had started dealing with me; but it wasn't until Craig Kuehn, director of Calvary International, spoke at our school that i realized that i have been called to the nations.

this step is going to be a step of faith because no one in my family has ever been on the mission field. i have never really been involved with a missionary except on a monetary level. i am anxious to go through the process. i pray for HIS guidance in every aspect of my life. stay tuned for more updates and pray for me. i need it. GOD bless.

my heart 1

i don't know how to explain what emotion run through me. I guess it is a good thing i learned not to depend on emotions. All they do is cloud your mind and interfere with your judgement. Believe me, i know. But still it seems like i should feel differently. I sometimes feel like i am not doing enough to advance the kingdom but if i think about doing more, i get overwhelmed. I know my GOD is bigger than any problem in my 'life'.

LORD, i pray that YOU would remove my unbelief. i do believe in YOU and i am asking for YOUR help to believe more. i know YOU have chosen me and called me to a specific ministry and i ask for YOUR guidance and help in my living in YOUR will. i bless YOU, LORD. i will not bend my knee to another and my unbelief stops here! YOU are KING of my life and all i am is YOUR'S. there is nothing on earth that can separate YOU from me and i am so thankful for YOUR grace. God, today i may stumble, but YOU never leave me. i am not alone. even when i feel like giving up, YOU are there guiding me, loving me, holding me. i can never pay the debts that i owe but, LORD, forever i will praise YOUR name. looking back, i can see the times YOUR hand was upon me and how YOU protected me from harm and the times i scraped my knee, YOU always lifted me up and gave me an encouraging word. oh how i long to know YOU more, to know the heart of my FATHER; to know the intimate places where i can lay in YOUR lap and know that i am YOURS. it is these intimate time i can look back upon and yearn for when i am walking against the wind and the rain is beating down on me. the storms of life are coming and i am ready because of YOUR strength. it is made perfect in my weakness. LORD, i am weak. i am not able to accomplish any good apart from YOU, so i ask for YOU to always carry me and live in me by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT. lead me in YOUR ways and all mine, i will acknowledge YOU. the Bible says if i do this, YOU will make the path straight. right now i ask for YOUR forgiveness, for the sins of my past, the sins of unfaithfulness, of disobedience, and disloyalty. i tried to please myself before others and foremost, before YOU. But GOD, YOU are working on me still. YOU have not done so in vain. i will win nation for YOUR name. i love YOU and thank YOU for YOUR love. YOU search me and YOU know me. in YOUR name, amen.

Psalm 139:23-24(NLT): "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

Monday, June 18, 2007

where have i been?

it has been quite a while since last posting a blog and i would like to take this moment to apologize to my reader(s?)

Now it is time to catch you up to speed. i am working at Missionette's Camp at Springville Camp and Conference Center. I have been working at the Alabama District of the Assemblies of God's, Christian Education Department's children's summer camp for the past month. it has been very stressful and tiring. I was the staff director, in charge of 12 staff members. I don't want to brag but, that's pretty big stuff. Seriously, this was my last year as the director because i am a student at Christ for the Nations Institute in Dallas, TX, and we are required to take one summer credit and i chose to take it next year. Camp has been a great experience for me. I have met so many friends with whom i share a plethora of memories. Most are amazing, some not so great.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

God Bless

God is so awesome. I do not deserve the good things that He has given me but I am trying to be a good steward of the blessings. I have been so blessed this past week that I have to give God the praise. Let me share just a little about the events of the past week.

First, my friend, Bryan Sanders' grandparents, mother and father came to the school for an Alumni/FMC Conference and of course on the first day, his grandparents wanted to take us out to eat. I knew that I didn't have enough cash to pay for it but they offered so I tagged along. His grandparents are always such a blessing anyway. They have opened up their home to me for many chill weekends when we just want to get away from school.

The next day they offer again and by now I feel it is my duty to say ok, after all, it is very impolite to keep turning down an invitation. Bryan's dad went along with us and we ate at Cheddar's. It was outstanding. Bryan's dad paid for our meal this time. Little did I know that God was not finished yet.

The following Sunday night, Tim Hoover, one of my friends and worship team members called and asked if he could come up. He had something for me. I was surprised to find out it was the cable that I had wanted for about 2 years. It was a 12' Angled Acoustic Guitar Monster cable. They are incredible and they cost around $80 with and included lifetime warranty. About a month or two previous to this occasion, God had really prompted my heart to bless someone with my 21' straight to straight input Acoustic Monster Cable. This cable cost $100, but was a gift from an ex-girlfriend. It was, to my surprise, not as hard to give away as I had thought. I think God was setting me up for a return. Here's the deal, while the 21' cable is awesome, it was a little to long for what I used it for and God knew that I had been wanting a 12' with an angled input, and He supplied the exact cable I wanted, but it doesn't stop here.

So it's Monday, and I am still broke. Not a big deal, I can manage to get by for the next two weeks on the little cash I do have, I just couldn't do any extra spending. I have a meal plan at the school cafeteria and I had bought groceries for some breakfast and dinner so I was set. My roommate, Jesusan do Amaral (Brazil), wanted to know if I wanted to got to a concert. Victor Wooten, a world renown bassist, was going to be headlining at a small theatre in Dallas called "The Granada". The tickets were $20, money that I didn't have and I was prepared to stay in but Jesuan insisted that I come and he paid for my ticket. I tried to dissuade him but he wouldn't budge. The show was amazing and I got to see a concert that I wouldn't normally get the chance.

My friend, Austin, hooked me up with lunch from Applebee's yesterday. It was so good. And today my friend, Bryan, took me to Taco Bueno. I love that place. We also got a chance to have some accountability time, which is always a good thing.

God is so awesome. He knows everything about our needs. He is our provider.

"Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, they victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is Yours, O Lord, and this is Your kingdom. We adore you as the One who is over all things." - 1 Chronicles 29:11

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Long Time No Blog

Sorry it has been so long, to my(singular) blog reader. I have been swamped with school work trying to get finished with this semester and getting ready for Blackout 2007, the finale, at Springville Camp and Conference Center. I am so excited about summer. I need to be home for a few weeks. I drove home for Easter a few weeks ago. I left on Friday and came back on Sunday. In other words, I drove 20 hours to spend 36 hours at home, but it was worth it. I got to see my family and relax for a few minutes, only enough to make me want more relaxation. Sorry to cut is short but I have to read my book for Personal Discipleship. God Bless,

In His grip,


Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Some of my favorite books and Christian artists...

From time to time I will be giving my list of books and artists that are ministering to me at that particular time. I hope you enjoy them because I really do.

Here is a list of books I have read and am going to read in the future:

"Dealing with the Praise and Rejection of Man" by Bob Sorge
"The Fear of the Lord" by John Bevere
"Drawing Near" by John Bevere
"Driven by Eternity" by John Bevere
"Rescue" (novel based on "Driven by Eternity") by John Bevere.
As You can tell I have really been reading John Bevere's stuff.
Here is a list of some of my favorite Christian artists:

Jason Upton
Shane & Shane
Rick Pino or Rick Pino's myspace
David Crowder Band or David Crowder Band's myspace or Dave's Xanga Site

Songwriting For Dummies!!!

i am in the process of writing a song for my worship and arts student ministry. i, of course, kept putting it off since being given the assignment at the beginning of the semester until now, 1 week before I have to record it. I am such a moron sometimes.i have started writing about 3 songs but nothing is doing with these. i want to write love songs to God but i feel inadequate sometimes, well all of the time. i know that there are some songs in me but i just cannot seem to get them out of my scrambled thoughts. God has created me to be a worshipper and i want to show Him how much i love Him via songs. i am so a.d.d.h.d.d.a.d.d.h.d.d. that i cannot focus even for a few minutes to write a blog. (FRUSTRATION)