i don't know how to explain what emotion run through me. I guess it is a good thing i learned not to depend on emotions. All they do is cloud your mind and interfere with your judgement. Believe me, i know. But still it seems like i should feel differently. I sometimes feel like i am not doing enough to advance the kingdom but if i think about doing more, i get overwhelmed. I know my GOD is bigger than any problem in my 'life'.
LORD, i pray that YOU would remove my unbelief. i do believe in YOU and i am asking for YOUR help to believe more. i know YOU have chosen me and called me to a specific ministry and i ask for YOUR guidance and help in my living in YOUR will. i bless YOU, LORD. i will not bend my knee to another and my unbelief stops here! YOU are KING of my life and all i am is YOUR'S. there is nothing on earth that can separate YOU from me and i am so thankful for YOUR grace. God, today i may stumble, but YOU never leave me. i am not alone. even when i feel like giving up, YOU are there guiding me, loving me, holding me. i can never pay the debts that i owe but, LORD, forever i will praise YOUR name. looking back, i can see the times YOUR hand was upon me and how YOU protected me from harm and the times i scraped my knee, YOU always lifted me up and gave me an encouraging word. oh how i long to know YOU more, to know the heart of my FATHER; to know the intimate places where i can lay in YOUR lap and know that i am YOURS. it is these intimate time i can look back upon and yearn for when i am walking against the wind and the rain is beating down on me. the storms of life are coming and i am ready because of YOUR strength. it is made perfect in my weakness. LORD, i am weak. i am not able to accomplish any good apart from YOU, so i ask for YOU to always carry me and live in me by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT. lead me in YOUR ways and all mine, i will acknowledge YOU. the Bible says if i do this, YOU will make the path straight. right now i ask for YOUR forgiveness, for the sins of my past, the sins of unfaithfulness, of disobedience, and disloyalty. i tried to please myself before others and foremost, before YOU. But GOD, YOU are working on me still. YOU have not done so in vain. i will win nation for YOUR name. i love YOU and thank YOU for YOUR love. YOU search me and YOU know me. in YOUR name, amen.
Psalm 139:23-24(NLT): "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."